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thomas davison

Keep calm, it's a right carry on! What might have happened if this Coalition government had been in charge during WWII

By Richard Littlejohn

PUBLISHED: 23:03, 14 February 2013 | UPDATED: 23:03, 14 February 2013

With increased infighting between the Tories and the Lib Dems, we are constantly reminded that David Cameron is leading the first Coalition government since World War II. So how might things have turned out if this rabble had been in charge during the war?

This is the BBC Home Service. Here is the news, read by Alvar Lidell. German militants have again mounted bombing raids on London overnight.

Buildings across the City have been destroyed and many are still alight. Rescue efforts have been cancelled because the ARP and other emergency services have not yet received diversity training or been issued with high-visibility jackets.
We seem to be constantly reminded that David Cameron is leading the first Coalition government since World War II. So how might things have turned out if this rabble had been in charge during the war?

We seem to be constantly reminded that David Cameron is leading the first Coalition government since World War II. So how might things have turned out if this rabble had been in charge during the war?

The fatalities are believed to include a large number of conscientious objectors who were killed when their peace camp outside St Paul�s Cathedral took a direct hit. Fortunately, many of them had a lucky escape because they had gone home to Hampstead for the night.

In the House of Commons, the Labour Party blamed the �savage cuts� being imposed on the Fire Brigade by the Coalition Government for the widespread loss of life and property.

Thousands of people sought refuge in Underground stations, only to find them chained shut. The Ministry of Health and Safety said they would not reopen until a proper risk assessment had been carried out. A spokesman said there was a danger that women and children fleeing the bombing could slip on a wet platform and hurt themselves.

The RAF scrambled its four remaining Spitfires to repel the Luftwaffe, but the war in the air is being hampered by the lack of runways in London and the South-East.

Since the Battle of Britain, the air force has put forward a number of plans for new capacity in the Home Counties, all of which have been rejected because of opposition in marginal constituencies from voters worried about the impact on property prices.

The Lord Mayor of London has proposed relocating all RAF operations to a new, purpose-built base in the Thames Estuary, provisionally called �Boris Island�.

Critics say this solution would be tantamount to suicide since it would bring together all Britain�s air defences directly under the flight path of German bombers nightly turning East London to rubble.

The Lord Mayor brushed aside the objections, calling them an �inverted pyramid of piffle�.
'Tantamount to suicide': 'The Lord Mayor of London has proposed relocating all RAF operations to a new, purpose-built base in the Thames Estuary, provisionally called

'Tantamount to suicide': 'The Lord Mayor of London has proposed relocating all RAF operations to a new, purpose-built base in the Thames Estuary, provisionally called "Boris Island"'

Elsewhere, cheering crowds turned out at Portsmouth to see His Majesty the King launch two new aircraft carriers, HMS Sensitivity and HMS Equality.

After the ceremony, both ships returned to dry dock where they will be mothballed for the duration because there are no aeroplanes available to fly from them.

Until recently, Britain had 72 perfectly serviceable Hawker Sea Hurricanes adapted for deployment from the decks of aircraft carriers, but these were sold off as part of the austerity programme to America, where they have been broken up for spare parts.

Earlier today, the Prime Minister summoned the Joint Chiefs of Staff to the Cabinet War Rooms for an emergency meeting of Cobra to review the progress of the war.

He was told by the First Sea Lord that Britain�s entire fleet of submarines had been sunk by German U-Boats as they left the River Clyde and headed for open water.
'Salmond gave the Royal Navy just 24 hours to vacate its bases North of the Border following an overwhelming 'Yes' vote in the referendum on independence'

'Salmond gave the Royal Navy just 24 hours to vacate its bases North of the Border following an overwhelming 'Yes' vote in the referendum on independence'

The ambush took place shortly after the Minister for Scotland, Mr Salmond, gave the Royal Navy just 24 hours to vacate its bases North of the Border following an overwhelming �Yes� vote in the referendum on independence.

The Head of the Army complained about the effect on morale of the War Office handing out redundancy notices to members of the Desert Rats currently serving on the front line in North Africa.

He was not only concerned about troops overseas but also those serving on the Home Front, who will have read about it in their daily papers.

The Prime Minister promised to act immediately.

Sir Brian Leveson has been asked to set up an urgent judicial inquiry into how the Government can stop the Press publishing stories which could undermine the war effort and embarrass the Establishment.

The cinematograph producer Lord Puttnam proposes forcing newspapers to submit all stories prior to publication to a censorship panel, comprised of independent people such as himself.

Editors who refuse will be jailed for sedition. The proposals have received the enthusiastic support of Sir Oswald Mosley, head of the British Union of Fascists.

In a parallel development, police have mounted a series of dawn raids across the South-East, arresting dozens of journalists under the Emergency Powers Act on suspicion of using GPO party lines to listen in to the telephonic communications of well-known socialites and members of the acting profession.

Scotland Yard has also arrested a number of music hall artistes and radio announcers in connection with historic allegations of sexual abuse at the BBC dating back to the 1920s.

At the Home Affairs Select Committee this afternoon, MPs questioned the Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police about the rising crime wave, in particular the booming Black Market and the widespread looting of bombed buildings. The Commissioner replied that unfortunately all his available officers were tied up investigating journalists and popular entertainers.
'Buildings across the City have been destroyed but rescue efforts have been cancelled because the ARP and other emergency services have not yet received diversity training or been issued with high-visibility jackets'

'Buildings across the City have been destroyed but rescue efforts have been cancelled because the ARP and other emergency services have not yet received diversity training or been issued with high-visibility jackets'

Later, MPs asked the Home Secretary about the numbers of refugees arriving from Bulgaria and Romania. How could we be sure they were not a threat to national security? The Home Secretary reminded the House that internment had been ruled illegal on human rights grounds.

A debate on the chronic shortage of munitions was postponed while MPs gave priority to the third reading of the Equal Marriage Bill.

In other news, the Ministry of Food has issued a warning that supplies of wheat are running low ever since the Coalition switched all windmills to electricity production. There is a real danger of bread shortages after Liberal members of the Coalition vetoed food rationing because it would hit the �most vulnerable members of society�.

However, the Ministry has been able to secure emergency supplies of nutritious horse meat from the Eastern Front for schools, hospitals and NAAFI canteens.

Please excuse me for a moment, ladies and gentlemen. The BBC has just learned that the Appeal Court ruled a few minutes ago that conscription is unlawful. The Government now faces a massive bill for compensation from millions of squaddies who have been called up since 1939.

The news comes as the Deputy Prime Minister said during his weekly wireless address that his party would not vote for the invasion of France on D-Day unless the Conservatives agreed to his plans for a �mansion tax� on all homes worth more than �1,000.

The forthcoming Walmington-on-Sea by-election is also expected to increase tensions within the Coalition. It has been called because the former Minister of Energy was forced to resign as an MP after pleading guilty to forging his wife�s name on his petrol coupons.

Campaigning on Walmington promenade this afternoon, the Prime Minister blamed the war on his predecessor, the Hon Member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, who sneaked into Munich by the back door in 1938 and signed a treaty which handed new powers to Herr Hitler and undermined Britain�s sovereignty.

The Prime Minister said the British people should regard the war as an �in-out� referendum on the Third Reich. He insisted he intends to serve a full five-year term, even if that means he spends more time fighting his Coalition partners than fighting the Germans.

And despite the fact that the lights are once again going out all over Europe, he remains committed to implementing his green agenda by building wind turbines across Britain.

�We shall site them in the seas and oceans, whatever the cost may be; we shall site them on the landing grounds; we shall site them on the beaches; we shall site them in the streets and in the fields and in the hills. We shall never surrender . . .�

We would probably have been giving foreign aid to Germany to enable to arm themselves.
But most probably the entire government would have been shot after they gave our country away, just like today but they have not been shot yet, watch what happens when 24 million arrive next year,